Surrounded by twits…

November 25, 2007

Dear Clueless One,

Here’s a secret.

If you like me, if you want to impress me… learn to spell! It isn’t ‘luv’, it’s ‘love’. It isn’t ‘yr’, or ‘u’, or ‘r’… it’s ‘your’, ‘you’ and ‘are’. Punctuation is nice. Beginning sentences with an uppercase letter is fun. Give it a try.

Yours in frustration and disdain,


P.S. Referring to Yourself always with a capital letter doesn’t actually make You my Dom. Idiot.


10 Responses to “Surrounded by twits…”

  1. quick Says:

    There is a a cold beer on my desk. Luke Slater’s Fear and Loathing 2 is playing. I’ve just totally enjoyed these recent posts of yours in one hit. I am happy right now.

    And I’m so going to call someone a dingbat today. Maybe a fucking dingbat.

  2. melograna Says:

    Boh, if you think I’ve forgotten that you once told me you could never truly love me because I don’t use capital letters when I chat online, you’re mistaken. But at least I spell things correctly. And don’t get all confused about homophones, like some people I’m too tactful to mention.

    You know, Quick, the ideal is to capslock whilst calling someone a fucking dingbat. Trust me on this one.

  3. bohemienne Says:

    Ah, Quick, so glad you were able to take in all of the venom at one go. I think we might be done now, returned to our usually sunshine-filled natures. (laughs hysterically).

    Mel, yes, you do spell like a champion. And I don’t no what you mean about homophones… there easy to keep strait. Know?

  4. Little did I know that orthography and punctuation were the ways to a woman’s heart. I mourn time lost to roses, diamonds, custom-tailored lingerie woven by blind virgins, and all the other gambits I’ve tried over the years, when a simple semicolon and Webster’s would have been a better investment.

  5. bohemienne Says:

    Sadly enough, David, as much as I’d like some diamonds and virgin-woven undies… it’s true that orthographic precision is really what wins me over every time. Once, I fell madly in love with someone because, in his first email to me, he made a typo, so he immediately sent the same email to me a second time with the typo corrected. Pitiful, don’t you think?

  6. Well, I wouldn’t say “pitiful”, exactly. Then again, I keep thinking about getting a semicolon tattoo … it’s my favorite punctuation. So I guess I’m not the best judge of these things.

  7. bohemienne Says:

    I love the semicolon, David; it’s my favourite punctuation, too.

    Where might you put this proposed tattoo?

  8. Suzanne Says:

    Someone had to say it. I do hate all of the cyber punctuation nonsense.

    I am a twit though, not because I do all those things, but because I had to look-up “orthography.” Can you say someone is a great Orthographist? It does sound provocative.

    I would get a semicolon tattoo, but I would probably put it in the incorrect place.

  9. bohemienne Says:

    Ah Suzanne — No worries. I only knew the word orthography because its equivalent in French is used much more commonly than we use orthography in English. And David just knows it because he’s ridiculously smart.

    I love what you said about the semicolon tattoo. I reread my previous comment, where I used a semicolon, about 12 times before posting; I was terrified that I’d get it wrong. 🙂

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