Frenetic
June 29, 2007
Do more.
Work harder. Put in more hours. Earn more money. Make the house cleaner. Drive faster. Get there sooner. Make life easier for everyone.
Be everything.
Be his wife, be their mother, be the responsible sister. Be a career woman, reliable, efficient, everyone’s confidante. Be a volunteer. Be a chauffeur. Be sexy. Be funny. Don’t let us down.
Fill the gaps.
Find someone new. Talk to him on the phone. Find more someones. Talk to them on the Internet. Take pictures. Share videos. Write. Talk. Talk more, talk endlessly, talk instead of sleeping. Meet men for sex. Meet women for sex. Try new things, new toys, new positions. More new things, always more. Shine. Scintillate. Draw them in. Give, give, give. Don’t stop… you haven’t run out yet.
Fill the void.
You aren’t done yet. There’s still space. There’s still an empty place that needs to be filled. There’s still time. You still have energy. Figure it out. You still need …. to …. be …. filled.
Stop.
July 12, 2007 at 6:29 am
ah, the feeling of always playing catch-up, of never having enough time to be all those things you want, need, would like to be. And the conflict you feel because being, doing, experiencing one thing often leads to the exclusion of being, doing or experiencing other things. Its as if you are being stretched by every limb in every possible direction until the space that needs to be filled is so big that it is impossible.
hello by the way, and yes i promise to start taking deep breaths.
July 12, 2007 at 11:14 am
Wow, Camille, yes, that pretty much captures it. The space just gets bigger and more intimidating.